Zombies Have Fun Too

Hey everyone! In the pre-spirit of Halloween, I thought I'd take a quick break from all our serious research and experiments on the properties of zombification to share this video with you. I figured it would be perfectly at home here, since Lindsey Sterling (the violinist in the video) is a graduate from BYU. We here being very strong supporters of BYU and all things of the zombie variety, it seemed too good to pass up. So enjoy!

Quick note: We here at Paranormal Investigators do not recommend you try to ward off zombies with a violin. Lindsey is an extremely well-trained zombie charmer and the methods she applies in the video are not in any way to be tried at home. You have been warned. Bludgeoning a zombie over the head with a hefty violin, however, would be entirely acceptable- just don't expect to be reimbursed for the damage said violin will sustain during such an endeavor.

P.S.- Did anyone else get a major nostalgic blast of MJ's "Thriller" from this? Wonder where Lindsey got her idea from...

--eibmoZach reyalScott

Group Introductory Post

Zombies! Mindless reanimated corpses unceasingly limping towards you, their only interest the sound of your bones gently crunching under the pressure of their rotten teeth while chunks of your flesh gently caress their limpid tongues. 

If you’re still here and not puking in a toilet somewhere, answer this question- Why would such a gruesome, despicable monster mesmerize such a large percentage of humanity?

Through this blog, and our accompanying research papers,  that is exactly the question we will be trying to answer. To do so, we will each analyze one of three different forms of zombie obsession.

1) The literal interpretation and realistic possibility of a “zombie apocalypse” occurring, including what such an event would entail and when we can expect it. Though this analysis might not procure the same circumstances made popular by Hollywood, and may not fit your plans regarding zombie contingencies, it will examine the truth and real-life applications behind zombie concepts.

2) Another aspect to consider is the psychological aspect of zombies- that is, that they and other monsters are mental manifestations of what we truly fear. As to what that is, the answer is simple- fear itself. For people to have an obsession with something like zombies, which elicits fear, they have to be searching for fear first. Therefore, it is expedient to uncover the reason behind this desire expressed by so many of the human populace. To do so, this analysis will focus on the origin of various incarnations of fear and where people’s affinity for fear comes from.

3) Finally, the symbolic aspect zombies have come to represent. Though one typically focuses simply on the possibility of zombies themselves, there is a deeper issue at work here.  That is, humans are terrified of the prospect of the world as they know it coming to an end.  Thus, zombies are actually another manifestation of the ever present fear that society will at some point have to come to terms with its ultimate demise. 

You now know who we are and what our purposes here entail. If you're capable of handling the unfiltered truth and shocking revelations regarding our own minds, come along with us. Hopefully, by reading our discoveries, you will have a better understanding of zombies in all of their lifeless, putrid forms.

--eibmoZach reyalScott, Interficiens Mortem, and TNT!

If we're crazy, then so's the CDC

It's going to be a while before we actually start this project of ours, but in the meantime I thought I'd start putting up some sources and information for us to begin building our repertoire with. Since we'll be focusing on zombies here, I thought we'd start with a look at these disease-ridden, shambling corpses first. What better source to start with than the masters of all things disease, the CDC? That's right, the Center for Disease Control has actually designed an emergency plan in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. Lets take a look, shall we?

http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse/

So, here's their guide on what to do in case the undead just so happened to come a knockin'. As a long-time zombie survivor enthusiast, I can agree with the majority of their suggestions. One detail I would like to disprove, however, is that the CDC seems to believe zombies would have a preference for cranial matter over the rest of their victim's body parts. This is extremely unlikely. A zombie, as we all know, is essentially a reanimated corpse. In all seriousness, were zombies to ever come into existence, they would be just that- moving, moaning, chewing dead people. No supernatural powers, no tendrils a la Resident Evil, no projectile vomit attacks. Ergo, cracking open and scooping out a tasty morsel of grey matter would not be within a zombie's capabilities.

Test this sometime- take a brown coconut, wrap it with two layers of duct tape, stick it in a double layer of plastic bags, and try using your hands and teeth to crack open the coconut and get to the white inside. This is a pretty close approximation to what it would be like to reach the brains of an average human head. Zombies, due to only having the strength and musculature their bodies had in life, would have the same amount of success as you (possibly less, since their muscles wouldn't be regenerating from tearing due to being dead).

Now, would you, in a state of extreme hunger and lack of any but the most basic mental capacity, bother with such an endeavor when there's tons of perfectly good, mouthwatering meat within reach? No. You'd ignore the stuff in the bony vault of the skull and go for the juicy neck, meaty leg, or luscious entrails instead. Hence, a "real" zombie wouldn't actually have a preference for the brain.

Anyway, here's a source to consider in our future discussions, and a little detail we could discuss right now. What do you think? Is my analysis of a zombie's perspective on brains accurate? Why or why not? Leave a comment with your opinion and your support on this question or anything else you want to consider from the CDC's Apocalypse Plan!

--eibmoZach reyalScott

...And so it begins...

Hello everyone, and welcome to our blog! We can't wait to get started on this project, and hope you will all enjoy yourselves as you explore the realm of the unnatural with us.

 For anyone wondering, we are here as part of a class project for our Writing 150H course. We will be using this Blog- and with it, your comments and insights- as a means to research  and discuss the things that go bump in the night. While the majority of our focus will be on zombies and their various influences (as that is the main topic of our project), we invite you to consider other paranormal creatures as well. Anything unnatural, creepy, or monstrous is open game as long as it has something to do with the discussions at hand (sorry Twilight fans, this isn't the place for your fanfiction ideas).

As this is part of a class project, we ask that you please refrain from posting derogatory comments, obscene material, or anything else that would be considered inappropriate. Violators of this policy will be fed to a ravenous horde of zombies. Thank you!

--eibmoZach reyalScott