The Ultimate Fear, the Greatest Evil

Hello, eibmoZach reyalScott here, after a rather long hiatus (oh, who I'm a kidding- no one noticed our absence anyway). So, I realize there isn't anyone who will be reading this, like, ever, but I've felt compelled to write this anyway. First off- our research team is no more. Due to an unforeseen (but entirely cliche) accident, our other research members were lost due to a series of paranormal events involving zombies, said members, and teeth. Lots of teeth. As the sole remaining investigator (read: survivor), I decided it may be time to close our research facilities. Nonetheless, this week I encountered something I felt must be recorded here, in the world of unexplained phenomena. I encountered a beast more ugly than any zombie, more intangible than any ghost, more draining than any vampire, and more bestial than any werewolf.

That monster, so terrible and cruel, is Depression. Before I continue further, here are a few songs to illustrate this creature's affect on its victims. These have not left my head all week- they have haunted my every waking moment, and that terrifies me- never before have songs so intensely matched my state of being. Perhaps spewing them out here will help remove them from my brain.

FALLING-Cryoshell

Lights out, no one here

Hear the silence

Scent of fear

You start running

With mistrusting and skeptical eyes

Are you haunted?

I call out

I'm counting on you

Falling

Is this the end of the line?

And can we make it in time?

Falling

My world is spinning around

I'm crashing into the ground

Falling

Now I need you to see

It's up to you and me

I'm counting on you

All gray

Darkened days

A stone in my chest

The feel weighs me down

I'm counting on you

Falling

Is this the end of the line?

And can we make it in time?

Falling

My world is spinning around

I'm crashing into the ground

Falling

Now I need you to see

It's up to you and me

I'm counting on you

FADE AWAY-Breaking Benjamin

I'm cold and broken
It's over, I didn't want to see it come to this
I wonder if I will ever see your face again
And I know that I will find a way to shed my skin
It's simple- I know that I will suffer in the end
Fast I fade away
It's almost over
Hold on
Slow I suffocate
I'm cold and broken
Alone
It's hopeless, the end will come and wash it all away
Forsaken, I live for those I lost along the way
And I can't remember how it all began to break
I suffer, I live to fight and die another day
Fast I fade away
It's almost over
Hold on
Slow I suffocate
I'm cold and broken
Alone
Now, back to my creature entry. Basically, this has been a cruel, terrible week. As the songs above testify, I'm a wreck. Which is fascinating, because I'm usually pretty resilient to this kind of stuff. When I get negative feelings, they usually never survive in my brain for more than a few days. Yet several times this week, I've felt myself suddenly wish to jump and scream "Dang it Bella Swan, get the heck out of my head!" due to the way I start feeling whenever I have a minute to think. Its like I've been possessed by some angsty, pathetic soul, and it sickens me that I can't get rid of it.
You see, I feel as if I'm a step, a breath, a single move away from falling into a dark and infernal Abyss, a place I had thought I was free from. Months ago, a series of events occurred that helped me climb out of that very same Abyss, out and away from the person I once was. I had never been happier. Now, I'm back on the edge. I am so alone, so isolated, so afraid. There is nobody I can tell any of this to because, put simply, I don't know anyone anymore. The Internet is the only one who will listen.
My family has always known a sturdy, impenetrable, stoic guy who never has problems, so they wouldn't even know how to begin helping me, and all my friends are either gone, no longer friends, or so far away they can't help me. I can't seek professional help or anything like that because I'm so distrustful and incapable of talking about myself to people I don't know really well. Only One person is still there for me, and He seems busy with everyone else's problems.He's there, and it's because of Him that I can even get up every morning, but I need human, earthy assistance, and none is available.
Fortunately, I'm staying above the darkness... for now. I made a solemn oath I'd never fall to the depths again, but oh man am I struggling here. I am the walking dead incarnate, here in person but almost gone inside. Still, as long as I don't check out completely, this is my home, my body. My Hollow self will have to fight me for every scrap of inner being it takes from me, but I'm losing ground ever so slowly.
So, a warning- beware this monster, this demon, this accursed behemoth called Depression. It is, by far, the most dangerous and cruel monster I have yet to encounter, and I've faced and studied more monstrosities than I care to count. Do not seek it out, do not engage it in any way. No stake or silver bullet can take it down. STAY AWAY from it any way you can. Because this creature can do something terrible- it can make you question yourself and see just how vulnerable you are. And that, dear readers, is most terrifying of all.
This is eibmoZach reyalScott, signing out of this facility but not out of my fight. May you all be safe from the monsters of fear, be they real or fantastical. I'm not, not yet.